Movie / A Good Day to Die Hard

I’m glad A Good Day to Die Hard exists. I remember when it was originally unveiled, some of my friends were upset that the studios were marking a fifth film out of the classic franchise, but I was ready to abandon my anti-cash cow snobbery welcome the return of John McClane. Having seen it this week, that’s no longer the reason I’m happy it’s been made. Instead, I’m delighted that my brother and I no longer have to argue about which is the worst film in the series, because it is easily A Good Day to Die Hard.

Whereas Die Hard 4.0 - while not reaching the heights of the first of third film - successfully managed to transfer the franchise into modern day territory, this John Moore-directed mess proves to be an utterly generic bore, not capable of holding your respect, enjoyment, or even attention past the first half hour.

Having saved his relationship with his daughter, Lucy, New York Cop John McClane (Bruce Willis) sets his sights on stitching things up with his son, Jack McClane (Jai Courtney). The young McClane Jr has managed to get himself in something of a mess over in Russia, and so the aged hero sets out to pull him out of a plot than involves all the tired clichés that occur whenever an American sets foot in the motherland. Radioactive weapons dealing? Check. Chernobyl conspiracy? Check. Ipad that can measure levels of radiation in any given area? Sure.

Whereas Willis returned to his most famous role with ease in the last film in the series, here it’s clear that the actor is as uninspired by the film as the audience. There’s an odd, tired groan to his voice that ruins any pathetic attempt at the McClane wit which, in turn, is really just swear-free placeholder ramblings that will undoubtedly be replaced by the real dialogue come the ‘unrated’ DVD release. Such cuts to ensure a 12A certificate are rampant throughout – there’s a memorable shot that painfully cuts away just before McClane spits out blood that’s so awkward it caused me to squirm in my seat.

All could be forgiven if the film delivered even one memorable Die Hard-esque action sequence. What we get is an incoherent opening car chase in which the ‘every man cop’ spins a truck to narrowly dodge RPG fire before driving a four-by-four over a series of lorries and car roofs while on the phone to his daughter, a helicopter fight taken right out of any action game in the last five years and then… another helicopter fight taken right out of any action game in the last five years. It’s a completely dull affair devoid of any innovation or semblance of the hardcore reputation that the series has rightly earned.

It’s crap, basically. But at least you can watch it thinking, “Man, Die Hard 4 could have been this crap.”